However, this time, the adulterated carol of choice must feature Christmas dinner.
I have slightly cheated with this entry, as the total word count would leave everyone staggering, but as it is all just repetition, and the words I have actually changed in the carol don't add up to 100, I submit it nonetheless. However, I will await your axe, dear fellow-conspirators, should you so decide!
In our house we DO NOT EAT BRUSSELS SPROUTS so they are not included. However, you can substitute Brussels sprouts for French beans if you so desire. The French beans, I felt, had a certain je ne sais quoi however!
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| A whopper indeed! |
On the first day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
A whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the second day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the third day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Three French beans,
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Four stuffing balls,
Three French beans,
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five onion rings,
Four stuffing balls,
Three French beans,
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Six chipolatas,
Five onion rings,
Four stuffing balls,
Three French beans,
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Seven spoons of bread sauce,
Six chipolatas,
Five onion rings,
Four stuffing balls,
Three French beans,
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eight crispy parsnips,
Seven spoons of bread sauce,
Six chipolatas,
Five onion rings,
Four stuffing balls,
Three French beans,
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Nine jugs of gravy,
Eight crispy parsnips,
Seven spoons of bread sauce,
Six chipolatas,
Five onion rings,
Four stuffing balls,
Three French beans,
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Ten Christmas puddings,
Nine jugs of gravy,
Eight crispy parsnips,
Seven spoons of bread sauce,
Six chipolatas,
Five onion rings,
Four stuffing balls,
Three French beans,
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eleven brandy butters,
Ten Christmas puddings,
Nine jugs of gravy,
Eight crispy parsnips,
Seven spoons of bread sauce,
Six chipolatas,
Five onion rings,
Four stuffing balls,
Three French beans,
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve chocolate reindeer,
Eleven brandy butters,
Ten Christmas puddings,
Nine jugs of gravy,
Eight crispy parsnips,
Seven spoons of bread sauce,
Six chipolatas,
Five onion rings,
Four stuffing balls,
Three French beans,
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
my true love sent to me
A whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the second day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the third day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Three French beans,
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the fourth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Four stuffing balls,
Three French beans,
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the fifth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Five onion rings,
Four stuffing balls,
Three French beans,
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the sixth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Six chipolatas,
Five onion rings,
Four stuffing balls,
Three French beans,
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the seventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Seven spoons of bread sauce,
Six chipolatas,
Five onion rings,
Four stuffing balls,
Three French beans,
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the eighth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eight crispy parsnips,
Seven spoons of bread sauce,
Six chipolatas,
Five onion rings,
Four stuffing balls,
Three French beans,
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the ninth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Nine jugs of gravy,
Eight crispy parsnips,
Seven spoons of bread sauce,
Six chipolatas,
Five onion rings,
Four stuffing balls,
Three French beans,
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the tenth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Ten Christmas puddings,
Nine jugs of gravy,
Eight crispy parsnips,
Seven spoons of bread sauce,
Six chipolatas,
Five onion rings,
Four stuffing balls,
Three French beans,
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Eleven brandy butters,
Ten Christmas puddings,
Nine jugs of gravy,
Eight crispy parsnips,
Seven spoons of bread sauce,
Six chipolatas,
Five onion rings,
Four stuffing balls,
Three French beans,
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true love sent to me
Twelve chocolate reindeer,
Eleven brandy butters,
Ten Christmas puddings,
Nine jugs of gravy,
Eight crispy parsnips,
Seven spoons of bread sauce,
Six chipolatas,
Five onion rings,
Four stuffing balls,
Three French beans,
Two roasted spuds,
And a whopping Norfolk turkey!
Now, who's got any recipes for left-overs, because that's one heck of a lot of turkey?
I have also de-composed another carol, in the required number of words this time. Of Bleak Midwinters and Steamy Kitchens
On the thirteenth day of Christmas - I needed a sleep and a diat!
ReplyDeleteLove it! Good effort :)
Diet even - seriously can't spell sometimes!
ReplyDeleteLol, I had thought of doing this one...glad I didn't as yours is much better than the initial ideas I had!
ReplyDeleteGoodness, what would you do with 12 Norfolk turkeys. I think even Nigella would struggle with that lot!!
I liked this one, particularly 5 onion rings and 3 French beans, both of which I prefer to the originals and will probably find myself singing next time the carol comes up. Polly
ReplyDeleteI feel full just singing this! Rob
ReplyDeleteGreat variety - a good punchline would be "And a whopping great indigestion pill!" (so says my wife and mentor) :D
ReplyDeletecan you fly me home for Christmas lunch.
ReplyDeleteThis is fantastic! What a wonderful piece of work. Goodness it must have taken you ages!!I love it but do need to speak to you about brussel sprouts!!
ReplyDeleteI love how you decompose things! (I don't think I've heard anyone other than my brother and I joke about decomposing songs - ha ha) Fantastic job! I love it and WE DON'T EAT brussels sprouts either. (ick, ugh, yuck!) There's a story behind that somewhere.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, thanks for swinging by my blog. :-D
think Day 13 might call for Rennies... it's a VERY full(and fun) seasonal rhyme!!!
ReplyDeletelove this, and feeling stuffed just reading the list haha :)
ReplyDeleteJust fabulous!
ReplyDeleteInspired!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great song to use. I would not have thought of this one. Perfect.
ReplyDelete