Thursday, 26 April 2012

Oh, Glory Be!

As you may be aware, I have recently developed a bit of a passion for guerilla knitting.
First there was the telegraph pole warmer.
Then the wondrous pig drew itself to my attention.
And latterly there were the cool dudes and their bike.

Now look what I've found.
I have purloined this photo from Facebook (all credit to whoever took the picture, wherever they may be!)

I want this very, very badly.

I want this very, very badly!

The silver beast is finally back in its stable - better late than never - and I can just picture myself gazing out onto this joyous sight every morning. It would, indeed, cause me to leap, singing, from my couch.

The question is, does the silver beast really deserve such a glorious present?
The silver beast has, after all, behaved very badly and taken to demanding presents on a regular basis.
First it was a new radiator.
Then, nothing would do, but that we should buy it a new oil pump. It didn't like the first oil pump, and threw a hissy fit at the second one we procured. Out of the goodness of its heart, it finally settled for the third.
Now it has decided to move into cerebral territory and complained that its brain was aching. It wanted a new EDU.
We have given it an EDU.

Enough, I hear you cry.
How right you are.

Perhaps there is a bargain to be struck.

Maybe I should wave this delicious carrot in front of the silver beast's nose. Toss a copy of the picture nonchalantly on the front seat and walk away. Tantalize the creature, bewitch it.
Then leave it to burn with longing, to ache with envy..
To lie awake at night, feeling the hollow craving for a red ribbon around its tow hitch.

In a day or two, I could go out with a tape measure and start sizing it up, then shrug, toss the tape aside and flounce away. That would teach it to have tantrums.

Eventually, when it has slumped on its wheels in misery, we could have a serious heart to heart.
What exactly would I get in return for such a Jacob's Coat?

The beast would have to promise to be very, very good indeed.

I'm sure it will.
I scent victory on this one.
How could it not promise the earth, the moon and the spark plugs for such a possession?

Perhaps I will start knitting - in secret -

What do you advise?


  1. Knit a car coat by all means, but why for the rainouts silver beast? Unless you think it's demands are due to poor self-esteem and lingering doubts that you do not value it as you might. Is it being poorly to get your attention, Maybe the first stop should be for car psychology, whilenyounkeepmthe knitting therapy for yourself.

    1. Still trying to work out what you meant when 'rainouts' typed itself! You are quite right, of course, Isobel. The beast is suffering from low self-esteem. I will love it harder, and tell it how wonderful it is.

  2. big big big Huuuuuuuuuuge...turbo-injected needles, Lorely! eh...won't be seeing you for some time down at the market so, if you're engaged in this rather demanding, manipulative feat of engineering? :-)

    1. You don't happen to have any turbo-charged needles I could borrow, do you? Maybe I'll bring my knitting project to the market...

  3. I think it should be considered whether the silver beast is male or female, showman or introvert, cold or warm-blooded, and whether he/she really has dreams of being a wearer of a colorful afghan, albeit a specially designed and fitted afghan. Then I think it needs to be considered the cost of materials and whether your stick-to-itiveness of sufficient to complete the project in Silver Beast's lifetime. I'm quite sure mine would not be.

  4. How right you are, Carol. I might get waylaid with something else. And I've not got much wool left over from the polewarmer... And after the EDU episode, I'm stony broke.
    The beast could end up with a glorified belt.

  5. Maybe you could knit a tiny version and hang it from the mirror, just to give it a taste of what might come if it behaves for long enough for you to save up for the wool... carol Wilson

    1. Now that is a VERY good idea. A little, mini carrot, dangling in full, tantalising view...
      I like it - I like it very much!
      Thank you for the suggestion.

  6. it must be remembered that cars, even those with brand new (or refurbishedd) EDU brains still suffer from congenital autozheimer's: a complete and utter absence of memory for anything other than 'the way home'. this they are very good at, but remembering a promise to be 'very very good' and not be demanding any new presents? i think not.
    save your needles and wool for the far more productive and honourable husqi which has more noblesse oblige than Churchill

    1. On reflection, I think that - sadly - you are right.
      It has brought to nil all the promises the silver beast swore on its oily soul yesterday.
      The husqui sits very close to the silver beast in the stable yard - if it was suitably bedecked, surely that would serve to encourager les autres...?


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